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Comedian Tim Clue Jokes About Debt, Credit Cards and Bill Collectors

I stole this off Dan Nunley's Oklahoma Bankruptcy Lawyer Blog.  Enjoy.

Bill Collectors Are Terrible People In Terrible Jobs

I have thought about it off and on, and I always wonder why were should just not outlaw bill collectors.  I am not talking about companies that feel they need to collect their own debt, but independent debt collection companies.  After all, what really useful function do they serve?  There entire existence, say what you will, is based solely on harassing, lying, bullying and deceiving people.  They really have no other arrows in their quivers, except for these.  They exist for no other reason.  And, most often, they are rewarded for succeeding at exactly this type of conduct in that they live off of a percentage of what they collect.  They eat what they kill.

The goal of the law is to simply turn a blind eye to the entire reason these people and companies exist.  The law seeks to insulate the actual creditor from the conduct that the creditor suspects is going to be employed to collect the debt.  Maybe this is more metaphorical, but it is tantamount to hiring someone to go break the debtor's leg only to tell them you do not want to hear about it later.  It reminds me of that scene in the movie Sneakers in which Ben Kingsley says to Robert Redford, "I cannot kill my friend".  Then he turns to his henchman and says to him, "Kill my friend".  Like the good servant that goes to church every Sunday only to live a regretful life the rest of the week, it is all too convenient for creditors, politicians, courts and we the people to simply put this in too sterile of light.

Do not get me wrong.  There is a problem when companies extend credit and they do not get paid.  They obviously need to do what they can to get paid.  There are legal mechanisms, where a neutral party can make these hard decisions.  Nobody is talking about taking from creditors there legal rights or their right to reasonably attempt to recover their capitalist lifeblood.  Nobody is saying that.  The complaint concerns tactics and techniques that are extrajudicial.

We somehow miss the mark.  We meet and pass legislation that tries to delineate when a debt collector absolutely goes too far.  Forget that they still cross this broad line constantly.  We ignore that their purpose is simply not necessary.  We concern ourselves with it might be okay for a private debt collector (not the creditor undertaking legal means) to turn the wheel on the rack 5 times but not 6 times, while ignoring completely that the rack is wrong.

You might think I exaggerate.  I do not.  These people are hurtful.  Their tactics are cutting, pernicious, distressing and malicious.  Why else would any normal person send money to a imperceptible third party, with no apparent connection to the debt, when they do not necessarily have the funds or have greater obligations that cannot be met.  Maybe it is not physical brutality, or the threat of it.  Maybe it is more clairvoyant in nature.  But, sometimes psychological discomfort, or playing off the fears and emotions of those already in fear is worse.  We know this for we worry about enhanced interrogation techniques at Gitmo.

And, it is hard to imagine that most of the people who are forced for low wages to man the call centers that do this type of work are enjoying the experience either.  Sure there are probably some sadistic bastards who like the thrill of the work, but most problems arise because the ordinary people manning the phones at these collection agencies are being pushed beyond their moral compass as well.  Why do you think most large corporations do not want to employ people for this nasty task.  It is kind of like Wal-Mart not wishing to employ illegal aliens to clean it stores at night, so it elects to hire companies that hire illegal aliens to clean its stores at night.  The cartoon below, I think illustrates this.

Therein lies the problem for us.  Since the entire system of independent collection agencies is designed to skirt the law, to be so persistent as to not stop, and to lie and cheat their way into an advantageous position with the debtor, small things like the automatic stay and the discharge injunction simply do not matter that much.  These collectors are trained to shoot back when they are threatened with the prospect of legal rights being violated, so why would they not do the same when told of the stay or the discharge injunction?  In short, they are paid to pay it no never mind.

The only logical solution is not to say that some practices are wrong, but to outlaw the profession altogether.  If a creditors is owed money, let the creditor try to collect it legally.  These thugs they do not need.

$100 Million Bankruptcy Attorney - I Doubt It

CNNMoney reviewed what it might cost to build the $6 Million Man, who was played on TV by Lee Majors in 1974 in today's dollars.  It is a strange comparison because there really was not a $6 Million Man in 1974. There was only just an estimate of what it would take to put Lee Major's back together as one if it were possible.  And, let us face the fact that in 1974 we all thought $6 million was a heck of a lot of money.  As frivolous as money has become today (even though we do not have it) $6 million seems like chump change almost.

Nonetheless, in 2008 inflation adjusted dollars, Lee Majors would be the $26 Million Man.  But, the real cost of a modern-day cyborg in 2008 would be quite different, according to Greg Chirikjian, professor of mechanical engineering at The Johns Hopkins Institute and a big fan of the original TV show.  According to Chirikjian, research and development costs to design a bionic man would be $50 million to $100 million today. But with a completed design, production costs would only be several hundred thousand dollars per person.

What I find interesting about this discussion is that in 1986, for example, an attorney was allowed to be paid $2,500.00 in legal fees through the Chapter 13 Plan to represent a family in a Chapter 13 bankruptcy in the Eastern District of Texas.  Today, even with the extraordinary new requirements to which an attorney must plan and respond, that fee is now only $3,000.00.  Considering the inflation adjusted costs only that fee should likely be about $9,000.00 today. It is not.  And, if you consider the additional work, it should be higher still.  Judges say that consumers cannot afford these fees over a 5 year period.  However, they were able to pay the equivalent in 1986, and a larger percentage of bankruptcies survived to completion at that time.

The Drew Carey Bankruptcy Party

This clip from the 3rd season The Drew Carey Show about his bankruptcy party.

A Better Way To Market Your Bankruptcy Practice?

Will It Blend? - Credit Cards

See what happens when we put 24 credit cards into a Blendtec blender.

Money Is Not Everything

The Judiciary Gets Wiki With It

As reported on Robert Ambrogi's LawSites, the  7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has entered into the brave new world of collaborative technology.  The first in the country, the Circuit has launched its own wiki that will allow lawyers and judges to post and change notes on procedure and practice.  It is reported that Chief Judge Frank Easterbrook, who spearheaded the project, stated, "The goal is to concentrate on procedure (in both the court of appeals and the district courts) but not to cover substance. We aren't interested in comments about the meaning of ERISA or the Internal Revenue Code and will take down any pages that go beyond the scope of practice and procedure (including jurisdiction)."  It is truly revolutionary because even though limited to procedure and practice issues, Court do not typically collaborate on any issue with anyone outside of its four walls.  It is something that I believe our local federal courts should try at least as in regard to the procedure and practice areas.  (Judge Easterbrook pictured).

A Typical Savings Plan

Exactly What I Am Talking About